June 28, 2002

The Evil Overlord Bad Plot Generator

Writing a cliche-ridden novel has just become a lot easier. In a way, it's too bad: I wish I could remember back when I first encountered each of these cliches. When they were fresh, they must have exploded in my mind like bombs...

Random Plot Generator

Advice for the Evil Overlord: I will not put off any ritual granting immortality.

Advice for the Hero: If a mystic proclaims that my destiny is to "defeat the darkness," "bring freedom to the downtrodden," or some such other glorious accomplishment, I will immediately begin preparations for the role. I will not wait for the mystic and several other innocents to get rubbed out by the Evil Overlord.

Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Genius): I will personally select the brain to be used in my life-creation experiment.

Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's Sidekick): If I fall in love with someone else, I will tell him/her now, and not shyly procrastinate, thereby dooming the object of my affection to perish just as I was getting up the courage to make my feelings known.

Further Evil (Advice for the Evil Empress): I will use my magic mirror for spying on my enemies rather than for vain attempts at preserving my position as fairest in the land.

Murphy's Laws of Combat:*

  • When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.*
  • Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.*
  • As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.*
  • You never find a lost article until you replace it.
Posted by DeLong at June 28, 2002 12:52 PM

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