May 15, 2003

Saving the Moon

Me: Children, I have an announcement to make.

The Thirteen-Year-Old: What?

Me: The natural order of things has been upset. We will see this tonight, when the moon will rise the color dried blood, a dim shadow of its former self. Sins of this family have let evil spirits loose in the universe that are poisoning the moon. Thus at 9:00 PM tonight we must take pots and pans, climb to the top of the hill, look at the moon and bang on the pots and pans to frighten away the evil spirits and restore the moon to health!

The Thirteen-Year-Old: Cool! I'd almost forgotten about that. I'm supposed to do that to get extra science credit tonight--although not the "evil spirits" and the "banging on pots" part...

Ann Marie: But that would be a fine extra-credit activity for anthropology! Tell your Core teacher tomorrow that your family reenacted a primitive lunar eclipse ritual last night. See if she'll give you extra credit.

The Thirteen-Year-Old: I don't think so...

Ann Marie: Not even if you paint yourself blue with woad?

Me: And wear lots of silver jewelry? And invoke the name of Luna?

The Ten-Year-Old: Luna? Is that really the name of a moon goddess?

Me: Yes. And the name of the moon. Luna is Latin. Selene is Greek. And we are moon worshippers...

The Thirteen-Year-Old: We are?

Me: Yes. You think it is an accident that we have a very white dog--a moon colored dog--whose mother is named Luna?

The Ten-Year-Old: Mwuhahahaha! Warcraft III is educational!!

Me: What?

The Thirteen-Year-Old: There's a character in Warcraft III who keeps saying, "By Luna's Rays."

Me: Oh.

The Ten-Year-Old: Does it say anywhere what sins the family has committed to cause the evil spirits to attack the moon?

Me: No.

The Ten-Year-Old: I would suggest that it is the failure of the Dad to pay the children their allowance for the past four weeks. I would suggest that--rather than bang on pots and pans--we try paying the children the allowance owed them, and see if that cures the moon faster.

Posted by DeLong at May 15, 2003 07:05 PM | TrackBack

Comments

Alas, here in Chi-town, the cloud covered the moon. I usually like cloudy, overcast weather so that I don't need to squint or wear sunglasses, but tonight it would have been nice to have clear weather.

Hmmm... perhaps I should have first made a sacrifice to Jupiter to clear up those clouds, THEN done the rite to Luna.

Hmm... interesting to look at the intermediate inputs into the production of prayers and rites, though I suppose usually it isn't necessary to get grants from one god to perform the proper rites for another. In spite of some views, I think the cost savings from monotheism or agnosticism might be worth it, though there are good arguments on both sides:

http://www.theonion.com/onion3803/judge_orders_god.html

Posted by: Julian Elson on May 15, 2003 09:59 PM

OK, so 7.05 PM at the 14/5/2003, in Berkeley Califonia.

*sucks in air through teeth*

The moon is conjuncted with your Mercury. This means that you tend to see things only from your perspective.

Hmm ascendant is in Scorpio, with sun in Taurus. Can we spell bull-headed and strong-willed at this point ?

Hmm, the Moon is also opposite the ascendant. This means you want to tell the world about your problems.

I'd say your discoloured moon does indicate issues.

I think the kid's right. Pay them four weeks of allowance. In silver.

Posted by: Ian Whitchurch on May 16, 2003 02:41 AM

The ten-year-old thinks that paying children their allowances is a good idea.

The economist, who carries a mortgage, thinks that deflation is a bad idea. Does anybody have the numbers on economists carrying mortgages?

Conversely, of course, Administrations wishing unbiased advice should clearly make certain that no economists have to carry mortgages...

-dlj.

Posted by: David Lloyd-Jones on May 16, 2003 04:05 AM

Makes me glad I only had one......

Posted by: steve on May 16, 2003 07:39 AM

The Ten-Year-Old is clearly invoking the Children's Allowance Rule, which states that only money placed in a child's hand simultaneously with the ritual recital of the Magic Sentence, "This is your allowance" counts as payment of allowance. All other instances of money being given to a child, or spent on a child's behalf, do not count.

I'm sure there is some evil practice of Republicans that is equivalent, but I can't think of it at the moment.

Posted by: John Casey on May 16, 2003 10:55 PM
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