Our cunning plan to recapture the proud title of Doofus State for California has succeeded! Florida will never catch us now!
We got our candidate statements for the recall election today:
Alex St. James: Once an aspirant Catholic Priest, I support life from conception to the grave and the right to bear arms...
Vik S. Bajwa: Since the days of the Gold Rush of mid-1880's, its diversity of over 2 centuries, where over 148 different languages, being spoken every day, we have but one thing in common--Dream and Success...
D. (Logan Darrow) Clements: Atlas Shrugged, America's second most influential book, was written by an immigrant to California who predicted our current mess and offered an inspiring solution...
Warren Farrell: My recent research has uncovered why children raised by single dads do better than children raised by single moms; why men now earn less money than women for the same work...
Lorraine (Abner Zurd) Fontanes: With my skills as a filmmaker and an arts administrator, I will work to return common sense...
Trek Thunder Kelly: Dear Voters, Please vote for me, thus breaking the Seventh Seal and incurring Armageddon...
Bill Prady: You know the wonderful world that exists in television comedies...?... Bill Prady is an award-winning television comedy writers and producer who will bring the skills he's learned creating sitcom episodes to Sacramento...
Kevin Richter: I breathe...
Ned Roscoe: I am a grocer who, with his family, specializes in selling cigarettes to adults who make their own decisions...
Arnold Schwarzenegger: The details of the budget are a distraction. The key issue facing California's next governor is how to protect the citizens from the menace of the time-travelling cyborg agents of malevolent space-based artificial intelligences like SKYNET...
Bill Vaughn: Earthquakes and special interests threaten California every day...
Absentee voters say bring a ruler: it's hard to line up the candidates with their boxes...
Posted by DeLong at September 11, 2003 07:17 PM | TrackBack
Maybe one of the doofi will be elected by a mistake analogous to that the elderly Jews in Miami who voted for Pat Buchanan.
Posted by: Joe Willingham on September 12, 2003 12:05 PMFunny!
I don't know who to choose. Should I take a chance on Trek Thunder and Armageddon?
Posted by: andrew on September 12, 2003 05:06 PM