September 25, 2003

Modern Etiquette

From the Incompetent Attorney:

Patent Pending: My cousin on my dad's side just got engaged. She's my age and we spent a lot of time together as kids. She's throwing a big engagement party this weekend and my dad has been saying that "we should all go." I sent her a check last weekend figuring that it was better than carrying the card into the party with me.

She called my Dad on Monday to say she got my check but I was not invited. She only invited my parents. She didn't invite me or my two brothers.

I thought, hey, that's cool. No big deal.

But then she cashed the check.

My mother was quite insulted that her children were not invited. My dad thinks his side of the family is angelic. He still wants to go to the party. I said to my mother "I don't think you should go. Show some solidarity."

My mom, ever the genius, said "Your father is making me go. So I'll just show up and eat all of their f***ing shrimp."

Posted by DeLong at September 25, 2003 05:13 PM | TrackBack


It's a long-standing tradition in my family for one child to make good with a dying elder member and then run off with the inheritance.

The shrimp doesn't sound so bad, actually...

Posted by: Saam Barrager on September 25, 2003 05:40 PM

One would have expected the parents to take a little more umbrage at the slight implied here than is on display ...

Posted by: Abiola Lapite on September 25, 2003 05:58 PM

I don't think you should eat shrimp when they are doing that.

Posted by: P.M.Lawrence on September 25, 2003 06:16 PM

Why not? That way the shrimp can die happy.

Posted by: Barry on September 25, 2003 06:59 PM

Well, whose name was on the invite, buckwheat? If your name wasn't on there, you weren't invited, and you had no obligation to send a present. Sheesh, you don't need a PhD to figure that out.

Posted by: Emily Post on September 25, 2003 07:18 PM

At first I thought it was some kind of analogy for Bush going to UN...

Posted by: DAvid Weman on September 26, 2003 12:03 AM

If the check wasn't a gift, why did you send it? Some cultures may believe otherwise, but the party is to celebrate your cousin's engagement. If there isn't enough room, there isn't enough room. Either way it isn't a slight unless your family makes it one your culture and space considerations don't matter... Be happy for your cousin and forget it. Life is too short to sweat the little stuff.

Posted by: Stan on September 26, 2003 05:47 AM

This is a tremendous slight to you, your family
before you, and your family after you. You
should take them to small claims court to get
your money back. You should never talk to them
again. None of your family should talk to them
again. Their inconsideration should be the topic
of family gossip for years to come. You should
twist your insides in hate and the mention of
their name. You should use your resoures and
influence to cause the ruin of their lives.
You should never let up. You should never forgive.
You should never forget.

Afterall, this strategy has worked well in the
mid-east for many thousands of years now.

Posted by: mr. hatfield on September 26, 2003 07:57 AM

No one should ever get married. Only trouble comes from it. See what I mean?

Posted by: Zizka on September 26, 2003 08:50 AM


Posted by: K on September 26, 2003 12:01 PM


Posted by: anne on September 26, 2003 12:30 PM

The holidays will be here soon. This little story gave me pre-traumatic stress disorder.

Posted by: J rossi on September 26, 2003 02:17 PM

What? She should have cashed the check after the party?

Posted by: nameless on September 26, 2003 06:21 PM
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