September 27, 2004

Light Bulb Veterans for Truth

Q: How does George W. Bush change a lightbulb?

A: John Kerry says that the light bulb needs to be changed. Flip-flopper. We do not need to change the lightbulb! We need to stay the course!

Posted by DeLong at September 27, 2004 02:12 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Close, but not quite.

A. John Kerry, observing the light is on, says we don't need to change it, but the president should change it if it burns out. When the light burns out, Kerry says we should change it. But W. calls him a flip flopper and continues to sit in the dark.

Posted by: Patrick Allen at September 27, 2004 02:16 PM

The increasing destruction of light bulbs reveals just how desperate the forces of darkness have become.

Posted by: The Editors at September 27, 2004 02:27 PM

Q: How many wing nuts does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None! Bill Clinton did it!

Posted by: David at September 27, 2004 02:34 PM

Bush puts Allawi's hand on the burned out bulb, then grabs Allawi and turns him until the bulb comes out. Then Bush buys a million-dollar light bulb from Halliburton and uses the same technique to have Allawi install it.

Posted by: Bernard Yomtov at September 27, 2004 02:54 PM

The lying, corrupt, Republican Attack Machine asked this light bulb to be the last to burn out, just before I opened Tour of Duty last night. So I couldn't show Teresa the parts where I pulled a special long life bulb, under a hail of gunfire 5,000 metres long, from the Bay Hap River back in 'Nam.

I received the Bronze Star for this action and a Purple Heart for burning my fingers. Which allowed me to go home early--rather than stay with that slacker, John O'Neill--because I needed to save our country from the Nattering Nabob of Nixonism that was leading us to victory over the communists.

It was a close call, but we managed to pull defeat from the jaws of victory, and I got the girl and her money too. I'm ready to selflessly sacrifice myself again, this November, if the yahoos (who probably can't even speak French) who get to vote aren't too stupid to recognize what they've got in me.

Posted by: Patrick R. Sullivan at September 27, 2004 02:54 PM

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a lightbulb?
The Answer is TEN:

1. One to deny that a lightbulb needs to be changed,

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the lightbulb
needs to be changed,

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the lightbulb,

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for
changing the lightbulb or for darkness,

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the
new lightbulb,

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor,
standing on a step ladder under the banner "Lightbulb Change Accomplished"

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting
in detail how Bush was literally "in the dark",

8. One to viciously smear #7,

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush
has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along,

10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.

Posted by: fatbear at September 27, 2004 03:16 PM

"Lightbulb, go screw yourself." --- Dick Cheney

Posted by: dm at September 27, 2004 03:36 PM

Brad, keep the day job.

Posted by: nm puff at September 27, 2004 03:51 PM

thats pretty funny fatbear. sad but true.

Posted by: Clayton at September 27, 2004 04:16 PM

Follow-up months later:

How does George W Bush change a lightbulb?

The president has always supported the changing of the light bulb, as well as working with the light bulb changing commision's recomendations to change the light bulb that was set up after public outcry to the darkness problem.

Posted by: noone at September 27, 2004 04:51 PM

Cover that lightboob NOW!

John Aschroft

Posted by: CSTAR at September 27, 2004 04:52 PM

Q: How does George W. Bush change a lightbulb?

A: President Bush's bold leadership and moral resolve has put the terrorists on the run after the tragedy of September 11. Next question?

Posted by: blah at September 27, 2004 05:48 PM

Darkness? What darkness? The light bulb doesn't need changing.

Stay the course!

Posted by: Vicki Meagher at September 27, 2004 09:38 PM

John Kerry says the light bulb needs to be changed. As we all sit in the dark Bush tells us the sun is shining brightly.

Posted by: Dubblblind at September 27, 2004 09:41 PM

Good one Patrick.

Close, but not quite.

A. John Kerry, observing the light is on, says we don't need to change it, but the president should change it if it burns out. When the light burns out, Kerry says we should change it. But W. calls him a flip flopper and continues to sit in the dark.

Posted by Patrick Allen at September 27, 2004 02:16 PM


You need to say that to Senator Kerry. Preferably while the cameras are rolling, in a loud enough clear enough voice for the mikes to pick it up.

Posted by: Frank S at September 27, 2004 10:50 PM

fatbear takes his work seriously and why start from scratch when we have that edifice to work from? I can only hope that PoorMan takes it from here by filling in the respective identities of these Ones ( Rove, Cheney, Rumsfeld, et al) for each of these tasks.

Posted by: calmo at September 27, 2004 11:13 PM