A clash of cultures:
Stranger: My dog has a little dandruff. Do you find the oatmeal, the aloe vera, or the chamomile shampoo works best with your dog?
Me: My dog was sprayed by a skunk. And that was after she rolled in a mixture of fresh cow manure and mud.
(It does take a true emergency situation to drive us to the Wash-Your-Pet. And I'm still thinking about the sign we saw in Calgary: "This way to the Car-and-Dog-Wash.")
Posted by DeLong at February 22, 2004 04:31 PM | TrackBack | | Other weblogs commenting on this postAs Steinbeck said of his Charlie, he has a desire to roam through manure piles that is only rivaled by a wealthy marton's desire to seek out all the fine perfume shops in Paris.
Posted by: pops on February 22, 2004 05:58 PM"Your pet" could also include cats. However, my husband found a useful home appliance to do the post-skunk tomato juice bath. It was the washing machine, top loader, gentle cycle.
Posted by: woodturtle on February 22, 2004 08:03 PMYour dog was a happy (albeit silly) dog for a brief moment.
I've been working on my dog-perfume line for animal rightsers:
"Let Him Be The Dog He Wants To Be!
Don't impose your humanist olfactory tastes ("sniffs"?) on the one who loves you most. Let him choose for himself!"
Ditch water, dead skunk, and dead fish would start it out.
Posted by: zizka / John Emerson on February 22, 2004 09:51 PMProf. DeLong's dog may be the silliest dog, but not the filthiest by a long shot. When I was living on my aunt and uncle's farm, I had to co-exist with the filthiest, smelliest dog in the history of the universe. I mean, if getting sprayed by a skunk and rolling in *cow manure and mud* is the best it can do... I am sorry, but... No... it is just not... Is that ALL... cow manure and mud!? At least you could identify the contamination. Our dog would do better (or worse) than that in less than a minute after any and every bath.
Furthermore, our filthiest dog was completely oblivious to any display of annoyance at his (I think is was a he) hideous smell. It was the filthiest, smelliest, foulest, friendliest, most affectionate, and completely oblivious dog in existence. Very oblivious.
One summer we had a piglet as a pet in the house for awhile. Amazing animals pigs. Clean, intellegent, trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly courteous, kind, obediant, cheerful, probably thrifty to, I guess. Brave. It was definitely clean, very clean. Cleaner than any dog or cat I've known. I'm not a big fan of animals in the house, but this pig was OK.
After the pig got too big for the farmhouse it had to go outside. And this poor pig, it had to watch the smelliest filthiest dog retain house privileges! It was a tragic episode and I try to suppress the memory, but had to let go just this once. The pig never understood, became morose and sorrowful, and I think developed some kind of inferiority complex. It was never the same pig after it was put out of the house, even though it had the finest custom made pigpen any pig could ever want. I think it became chronically depressed. And the smelliest dog remained completely oblvious, and friendly. Yuck! I need smelling salts right now.
Posted by: jml on February 22, 2004 10:40 PMRather than chip in my own smelly dog story (mini poodle who liked a mixture of horse dung and chicken droppings) I'll ask what _is_ it about kitty poo and a dog's near helpless craving to eat same out of the litter box?
Posted by: Brian on February 22, 2004 10:49 PMIn case any of my relatives read this blog and feel defamed, I better add that the smelliest dog only was allowed on the back porch, and for a bath. But the effect on the pig was the same as if it had the run of the place. At least once a week the pig saw the dog go inside.
Ugh! that dog! My appetite may be back by breakfast time, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Posted by: jml on February 22, 2004 10:50 PMSpam, Spam, Spam, Spam,
Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!
QUIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEET!
Bloody Vikings....
Python spam = good.
Comment spam = bad.
"The wash-your-pet"!? Am I from a totally dark and backwards culture - completely astonished by such a superpower-culture phenomenon like "the wash-your-pet"?
The wash-your-pet...
Posted by: Mats on February 23, 2004 01:31 AMSpeaking of skunks...
A few nights ago, I heard secretary of state Powell on CNN saying something to the effect of Sadam Hussein "apparently not having had the intention of giving up on his intentions to proceed with WMD programs related activities."
Well, I'd rather have a dog that stinks of skunks and bullshit.
Posted by: gerhard on February 23, 2004 03:28 AMI am not, and have never been a dog person. (Okay, anybody who looks back into my history will find, right behind the complete record of W. Bush's ANG service, the fact that my parents owned a dog when I was born, but got rid of it shortly thereafter since we got in too much trouble together.) I love cats, and find them for the most part very clean, both in habit and in smell.
Until my cat got diabetes.
It isn't that he smells bad - it is what he leaves in the litterbox. I've smelled skunk, and quite frankly, skunk doesn't really smell all that bad to me. This, on the other hand, has more stench than the redistricting in Texas. It doesn't look any different, and the smell goes away in about half an hour, but whooo!
Especially when you live in a one bedroom apartment. Ugh.
Posted by: Thane Walkup on February 23, 2004 08:56 AMJohnny Cash does a good version of this song on his San Quentin/Folsom Prison album.
Dirty Old Egg Sucking Dog
By: Jack Clement
Well he's not very handsome to look at
Oh he's shaggy and he eats like a hog
And he's always killin' my chickens
That dirty old egg-suckin' dog
Egg-suckin' dog
I'm gonna stomp your head in the ground
If you don't stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound
Now if he don't stop eatin' my eggs up
Though I'm not a real bad guy
I'm gonna get my riffle and send him
To that great chicken house in the sky
Egg-suckin' dog
Your always hangin' around
But you'd better stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound
I don't like dawgs and dawgs don't like me either, but I read this whole thread chuckling all along -- for some reason I don't know...
Posted by: Bulent on February 23, 2004 11:24 AMMats, that's no peculiarity of superpower culture. In my town in Spain I have one near my flat, in a zone that is not particularly affluent. And I've seen a few others.
DSW
Posted by: Antoni Jaume on February 23, 2004 02:31 PM"Italian" wash-your-pets.
Oh my....
"Let Him Be The Dog He Wants To Be!"
Perfect, except not for my dog.
Posted by: anne on February 23, 2004 02:39 PMjml...I'm touched ( and amused) by your connection to that pig. Is the pig, (funny you don't identify gender), still suffering that smelly mut? ( still no gender identification).
Over here, there is a recent service that is gaining popularity --dog walking. Seems like the owners don't have the time to do it ( atleast during the day). So it is not that uncommon to see a person walking half a dozen dogs down the street. Sometimes even 3 or 4 of these people and it is still amazingly orderly.
Now if that were pigs on leashes snorting (squealing?) down the road...
This seems like an appropriate place to mention 'Dogs in Elk', memorialised here:
http://web.media.mit.edu/~solan/dogsinelk/
Funniest web page, EVER.
Posted by: Richard on February 23, 2004 11:23 PMKeep the good work.
Posted by: Aptekar Alex on March 17, 2004 08:45 PMGratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.
Posted by: Salisbury Judd on May 2, 2004 02:09 PMImitation is the sincerest form of television.
Posted by: Ruth Katie on May 3, 2004 01:30 AMHave no friends not equal to yourself.
If you save the world too often, it begins to expect it.
Posted by: Leo Kristen on June 30, 2004 06:25 AM