March 02, 2004

Highly-Addictive Coffee-Flavored Simulants

N.P. Childs writes:

My personal theory is that Tim Horton's does not, in fact, sell coffee. What they sell is a highly addictive, coffee flavored stimulant. I mean, have you seen the size of the drive thru lines in the mornings? There can be other logical explanation, it's an addiction, like smokers going outside for a butt; it's not something you want to do, it's something you *have* to do.

When I worked in Nova Scotia I used to do a lot of driving, much of it at night. Every town I went to had a TH and I got to the point where I could reliably calculate how much coffee (regular, large, XL), what type of coffee (regular, mocha) how much sweetener etc. (double-double, double-triple, etc.) I would need based on how far I was going, road conditions, which highways I would be on, how long I had been up, the time I was starting the drive and what time I would be getting to bed.

It's not just coffee and donuts, it's amateur pharmacology. And as noted, they are the new meeting place for people.

Mmmmmmm, donuts.

Posted by DeLong at March 2, 2004 07:52 AM | TrackBack

Comments

You could easily track the history of modern capitalism by charting the relative popularity of alcohol and caffeine. We certainly passed some sort of milestone when coffee became a more popular drug than whiskey (in the cultural imagination at least (he hedges) if the numbers don't bear me out).

Posted by: Brian Zimmerman on March 2, 2004 08:29 AM

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I'd add sugar and tobacco, to make your four basic food groups.

Posted by: Matt on March 2, 2004 08:53 AM

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It's been clear for some time that coffee is merely a caffeine delivery system. Of course, the good folks at Maxwell House will never admit this!

Big Coffee--just too powerful a lobby.

Posted by: Goldberg on March 2, 2004 09:33 AM

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I seem to remember from my Psych 100 class that caffine is addictive and those who stop taking it will go into withdrawl. Our entire society runs on coffee, though, so I don't see the FDA regulating caffine any time soon.

Posted by: TheSquire on March 2, 2004 09:34 AM

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Never heard of Tim Horton's but their website suggests its good coffee not gourmet coffee. The long line phenomena also occurs at U.C. College in Dublin, Ireland outside the Dunkin Donuts. Similar reason - good coffee and my favorite part: Hmmmmmm Doughnuts. Which is why my waistline is approaching that of Homer Simpson's.

Posted by: Harold McClure on March 2, 2004 09:47 AM

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Sadly Tim Horton's is no longer a Canadian institution since being gobbled up by Wendy's, however that hasn't stopped them running TV commercials in Canada as if TH was as Canadian as "eh", eh.

And, it is my understanding that Starbucks juices their coffee with caffeine somehow and has much more than your average cup at other places, like TH.

My choice: Second Cup paradiso medium(or home brew).

Posted by: monte carlo on March 2, 2004 10:53 AM

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Although Tim Horton's is ostensibly a donut shop, it is overwhelmingly a coffee place - and not gourmet either. They make great coffee. Sales in Canada at Tim's are now larger than any other fast food chain - including McDonald's.

The interesting thing about TH is that it is the great class melting pot. Even though it doesn't sell gourmet coffee, it - more than any other store or restaurant - has the greatest amalgam of the classes. If you see a lineup in the morning, you'll see everyone from suited lawyers to grungy lineworkers.

Posted by: 3pointshooter on March 2, 2004 10:53 AM

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But isn't that exactly what coffee is? A highly addictive, coffee flavoured stimulant?

Posted by: Agamemnon on March 2, 2004 11:18 AM

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Two questions a terrorist has to be able to answer to get into Canada: the phone number for Pizza Pizza, and the name of the holes out of the donuts that Tim Hortons sells.

Nahhh, I'm not telling...

Posted by: David Lloyd-Jones on March 2, 2004 11:35 AM

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timbits

Posted by: monte carlo on March 2, 2004 12:25 PM

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How is the Tim Hortons expansion going in the USA?Can I get a 20 pack of "timbits" on my next sales trip to North Carolina?

Posted by: Scott McArthur on March 2, 2004 12:28 PM

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Off topic, but Tim Horton's wasn't gobbled up by Wendy's, it was the other way around. Wendy's is a subisidiary of Tim Horton's. They brought Dave out of retirement just before he died because TH management punched holes through Wendy's profits in 2002 or 2001.

Posted by: yowsa on March 2, 2004 12:35 PM

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I, for one, suffer ungodly withdrawal symptoms if I do not have caffeine within about 20-25 minutes of waking up.

Posted by: Goldberg on March 2, 2004 02:16 PM

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And I thought hockey players were brain damaged!

Posted by: big al on March 2, 2004 02:24 PM

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Salsa!!! And more salsa. Salsa should be added to the food groups.
A daughter works at Starbucks and brings home coffee. Wow!, it is strong. Makes my hair stand up.
Enjoy

Posted by: dilbert dogbert on March 2, 2004 02:35 PM

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In 1995, Tim Hortons merged with Wendy's International, Inc. While Tim Hortons continues to operate as a separate entity, the merger provided a new focus for the expansion of the Tim Hortons concept in the United States. Tim Hortons locations can presently be found in Michigan, New York, Ohio, Kentucky, Maine, and West Virginia. The Canadian operation is 95% franchise owned and operated, and plans in the U.S. call for the same key strategy to be implemented as expansion progresses.

Posted by: monte carlo on March 2, 2004 03:18 PM

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Everyone should know their own personal terror alert status: espresso, house, flavor of the day, etc.

Posted by: vachon on March 2, 2004 04:44 PM

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Something I've been wondering, and Big Al seems to be alluding to:

That's "Tim Horton" as in the Hall of Fame defenseman from the Toronto Maple Leafs of the 1960s, right?

Posted by: Thlayli on March 2, 2004 05:34 PM

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he played for the buffalo sabres too.

Posted by: n. on March 2, 2004 06:08 PM

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Yup. That's the right Tim

Posted by: ian on March 2, 2004 08:20 PM

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Some show on the CBC recently tested a batch Tim Horton's coffee to if there was anything in it; the answer came back that it was coffee.

(I'm glad I'm a Yank who lives close enough to the border to have the nearest CBC station included in my cable package; always fascinating to get a different point of view on stuff...)

Posted by: Geoduck on March 2, 2004 11:57 PM

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Pizza Pizza Phone Number : 967-1111 - Call Pizza Pizza Hey Hey Hey!!! :) I miss Canada!!

Posted by: pizza guy on March 3, 2004 01:46 PM

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