July 16, 2004

The Personal Watermelon

We have purchased a Super-Sweet Dulcinea PureHeart Seedless Personal Watermelon. "I don't know if I can bear to eat it: I want to adopt it," says Ann Marie.

Visit www.dulcinea.com for more about this ultimate produce eating experience:

..:: Dulcinea ::..: Welcome to Dulcinea Farms, the fresh foods company that brings you uniquely-delicious DULCINEA™ brand produce.

In Cervantes' novel and in the musical "Man of La Mancha, " Dulcinea was Don Quixote's vision of female perfection. True to its namesake, DULCINEA™ produce is the "Fruit of Legendary Perfection." All of Dulcinea Farms' produce is premium-quality, field-grown, and vine-ripened, to provide consumers with the "ultimate produce eating experience" consistently and all year-around.

We invite you inside to learn more of Dulcinea Farms, our miniature, super-sweet DULCINEA™ PureHeart™ Seedless Watermelon, our full-flavored, juicy DULCINEA™ Extra Sweet Tuscan Style™ Cantaloupe, and our incredibly delicious DULCINEA™ Sweet & Juicy Golden Honeydew. Discover how our innovative, fully-integrated produce value chain gets our products to you in peak eating condition.

Ultimately, to know us is to experience our value-added produce and judge for yourself. We think you'll agree that DULCINEA™ brand produce delivers the "ultimate produce eating experience."

"Perfect for eating alone!" was the sign over the display in Safeway.

Posted by DeLong at July 16, 2004 06:30 PM | TrackBack | | Other weblogs commenting on this post
Comments

I am going to have to find me some of those, especially since the bf doesn't like watermelon.

Right now, though, I think the frozen grapes that my roommate caused to exist in the freezer are the BestIdeaEver(tm).

Posted by: cyclopatra on July 16, 2004 06:58 PM

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SEEDLESS watermelons? Was the original ideal, Dulcinea, seedless, too?

What fun is there eating one of these monstrosities? What is there in a seedless watermelon that can be spit at a little sister? Put between thumb and forefinger and shot across the lawn?

This sounds like an idea that should be put along side American Motors's Pacer, and New Coke.

Posted by: Jon Moyer on July 16, 2004 07:09 PM

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The yellow ones are worth dying for.

Posted by: Eli Rabett on July 16, 2004 08:18 PM

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I've tried these about three times; haven't had one that
tasted good yet. Too bad these are bred for looks and
not taste.

Posted by: matt on July 16, 2004 08:55 PM

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I've had several of them and all have tasted very sweet. They're not going to replace sex in terms of pleasure but, as watermelons, they're pretty good.

Posted by: Mushinronsha on July 16, 2004 09:22 PM

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No room for watermelon - my grocery store now has the best kiwifruit I've ever tasted.

Posted by: digamma on July 16, 2004 09:47 PM

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A damsel with a Dulcinea™
In a vision once I sawed:
It was an Berkeleyan maid,
And on her Watermelon she gnawed,
Singing of Mount Moraga

Posted by: Kieran Healy on July 16, 2004 10:01 PM

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Now all they need to do is grow them in cubic forms to produce a Japanese-style icebox melon for apaartment dwellers with tiny fridges.

Posted by: Larry B on July 16, 2004 11:57 PM

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Has Alice Waters endorsed their fruit by serving it at her restaurant?

Posted by: Cal on July 17, 2004 12:07 AM

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Has Alice Waters endorsed their fruit by serving it at her restaurant?

Posted by: Cal on July 17, 2004 12:07 AM

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Kieran: I wanted to come up with a response that involved "for he on honey-dew (melon) has fed..." but I just wasn't clever enough.

Posted by: cyclopatra on July 17, 2004 12:39 AM

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The name is apt. Dulcinea was not in fact a beauteous maiden but a degraded tavern wench. She was a refined beauty only in Don Quixote's addled imagination. Similarly, the melons are cute but no good. If however you get too close to the fumes rising from the truly over-the-top marketing, your brain may get addled enough to believe it.

Posted by: Nancy Irving on July 17, 2004 03:27 AM

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Am I the only one who eats and enjoys the seeds?

Posted by: seed-eater anonymous on July 17, 2004 06:13 AM

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I eat watermelon seeds. They are quite tasty.

The Dulcinea aren't tasty watermelons. If you want to eat refrigerator box sized wtermelons, get some seeds and grow your own (they are sold at places like Johnny's Seeds) because the store bought ones have no watermelon flavor.

Most of the small melons are bred by french agriculturalists. Bien sur, they also brought us the baby green beans, le petit pois, and so forth. ANd it seems that only they, and home gardeners, know how to grow them correctly.

Posted by: Carol on July 17, 2004 07:01 AM

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Dulcinea was a hefty peasant girl, practical and not femme. The tavern wench was someone else.

The Manichaeans recommend that you eat lots of melons because they are especially rich in the essential particles of light.

Posted by: zizka / John Emerson on July 17, 2004 07:46 AM

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Dulcinea melons, pooey....

Washington State free-stone Newhavens.
So scrumtious, you can't believe it.
Skin peels off and baby bottom soft.
Soft and sweet, they can't be shipped.
Monse, Washington, and that's all the
hint I'm going to give. Nectarines in
Sawyer area (Yakima) have been known
to make grown men fall to their knees.

Posted by: Albert Gore on July 17, 2004 10:31 AM

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So they are not so tasty as ones with seeds?

So what; there are certain applications where taste doesn't matter, but seeds might be a source of delicate injury.

Posted by: Felix Deutsch on July 17, 2004 11:07 AM

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> We have purchased a Super-Sweet Dulcinea PureHeart Seedless Personal Watermelon. "I don't know if I can bear to eat it: I want to adopt it," says Ann Marie.

I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about here, but I would advise you not to fall asleep next to one of these.

Oh... No... I see a truckload of these "watermelons" heading straight up 101 into San Francisco.

Posted by: Paul Callahan on July 17, 2004 12:08 PM

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http://www.rmbrmb.com
http://www.rmbrmb.com/map.asp

Posted by: 皇朝娱乐 on July 18, 2004 05:12 AM

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This has got to be the most unusual publicity ever for a grower. I'll let them know you enjoyed it!

Posted by: KevinCA on July 20, 2004 05:27 PM

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This has got to be the most unusual publicity ever for a grower. I'll let them know you enjoyed it!

Posted by: KevinCA on July 20, 2004 05:30 PM

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This has got to be the most unusual publicity ever for a grower. I'll let them know you enjoyed it!

Posted by: KevinCA on July 20, 2004 05:33 PM

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This has got to be the most unusual publicity ever for a grower. I'll let them know you enjoyed it!

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