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February 25, 2005
Speaking of Awards...
Let me point out that Belle Waring is still the winner for writing the best weblog post ever:
John & Belle Have A Blog: If Wishes Were Horses, Beggars Would Ride -- A Pony!:
I think Matthew Yglesias' response to Josh Chafetz' exercise in wishful thinking was about right, even if Brad DeLong's is more nuanced. I'd like to note, though, that Chafetz is selling himself short. You see, wishes are totally free. It's like when you can't decide whether to daydream about being a famous Hollywood star or having amazing magical powers. Why not -- be a famous Hollywood star with amazing magical powers! Along these lines, John has developed an infallible way to improve any public policy wishes. You just wish for the thing, plus, wish that everyone would have their own pony! So, in Chafetz' case, he should not only wish that Bush would say a lot of good things about democracy-building and fighting terrorism in a speech written for him by a smart person, he should also wish that Bush should actually mean the things he says and enact policies which reflect this, and he should wish that everyone gets a pony. See?
John came up with this "and a pony" scheme during a discussion we were having about crazy libertarians. (He was bathing Zoë as I told him about the article I'd read, and Zoë chimed in that she wanted to get a pony too. Duly noted.) Reason recently published a debate held at its 35th anniversary banquet. The flavor of this discussion is indescribable. In its total estrangement from our political and social life today, its wilfull disregard of all known facts about human nature, it resembles nothing so much as a debate over some fine procedural point of end-stage communism, after the state has withered away. Child-care arrangements, let's say. Position A: there will be well run communal creches! Position B: nonsense! the amount of work required from each individual to maintain a perfectly functioning society will be so small that people can care for their own children and those of others on a spontaneous basis, as the need arises!
Allow me to summarize.
Richard A. Epstein: even in the libertarian utopia, some forms of state coercion will be required. If we must assemble 100 plots of land to build a railway which will benefit all, and only 99 owners will sell, then we may need to force a lone holdout to accept a fair price for his land. Similarly, the public enforcement of private rights and the creation of infrastructure will require money, so there will have to be some taxes. [Note to self: no shit, Sherlock.]
Randy Barnett: Not so fast! Let's cross that bridge when we come to it rather than restricting liberty in advance. We'll know a lot more about human liberty in the libertarian utopia, and private entrepreneurs will solve these problems somehow without our needing to grant to governments the dangerous ability to confiscate our property in the name of some nebulous "public good." And as for rights enforcement -- look it's Halley's Comet!
David Friedman: Epstein places too much confidence in his proposed restrictions on government power. Rights could be enforced privately, and imperfect but workable solutions to the holdouts in the railway case could also be found. "To justify taxation we need the additional assumption that rights enforcement cannot be done by the state at a profit, despite historical examples of societies where the right to enforce the law and collect the resulting fines was a marketable asset."
Now, everyone close your eyes and try to imagine a private, profit-making rights-enforcement organization which does not resemble the mafia, a street gang, those pesky fire-fighters/arsonists/looters who used to provide such "services" in old New York and Tokyo, medieval tax-farmers, or a Lendu militia. (In general, if thoughts of the Eastern Congo intrude, I suggest waving them away with the invisible hand and repeating "that's anarcho-capitalism" several times.) Nothing's happening but a buzzing noise, right?
Now try it the wishful thinking way. Just wish that we might all live in a state of perfect liberty, free of taxation and intrusive government, and that we should all be wealthier as well as freer. Now wish that people should, despite that lack of any restraint on their actions such as might be formed by policemen, functioning law courts, the SEC, and so on, not spend all their time screwing each other in predictable ways ranging from ordinary rape, through the selling of fraudulent stocks in non-existent ventures, up to the wholesale dumping of mercury in the public water supplies. (I mean, the general stock of water from which people privately draw.) Awesome huh? But it gets better. Now wish that everyone had a pony. Don't thank me, Thank John.
UPDATE: John wants me to point out that he got the idea from a Calvin and Hobbes strip in which little Susie first wishes that Calvin was nicer, then realizes she might just as well wish for a pony while she's at it. So, thank that Calvin and Hobbes guy, or something.
2ND UPDATE: Thanks to Ben Wolfson for alerting us to the miracle of searchable Calvin and Hobbes! (Now get to work on your abandoned wasteblog, Ben.) Here is the original 'might as well wish for a pony' strip. I humbly submit that it deserves to be a catch-phrase. Just say 'plus a pony' on suitable occasions and watch your opponents whither away like the state itself.
UPDATE: Not to denigrate the second-best weblog post ever: Atrios's Preznit Give Me Turkee.
Posted by DeLong at February 25, 2005 11:53 AM
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Comments
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Posted by: dilbert dogbert at February 25, 2005 12:17 PM
Atrios's turkee post never did much for me.
Posted by: Nimoy With A Hammer at February 25, 2005 12:25 PM
The 'and a pony' critique is pretty funny. I like it. Let me try a few:
"I want Social Security to remain unchanged and give me my full benefits when I retire. And I want a pony".
"I want free health care from the govt that is more effective, efficient, and a more pleasant experience than the insurance I have now. And I want a pony."
"I want to raise the capital gains and corporate income tax rates through the roof to pay for more programs, and create more public sector jobs. I want this to grow our economy, not ravage it. And I want a pony."
"I want to ban GMO's and continue with farm subsidies and not feel guilty about the devastating economic effects this has on third world farmers. And I want a pony."
That works pretty good.
jb
Posted by: joeblow at February 25, 2005 12:36 PM
But if everyone had a pony, who would clean up all the pony excrement in the streets? Would a pony tax be required, or would private entrepeneurs enforce the removal of pony exrement for profit?
Posted by: Kuas at February 25, 2005 12:37 PM
"Just tell them if they vote for you all their wildest dreams will come true."
Posted by: Adam M at February 25, 2005 12:49 PM
"...or would private entrepeneurs enforce the removal of pony exrement for profit?" Sure, they would! Just like is presently the case for wrecked vehicles, construction rubbish, etc. Our roads, streams, rivers, communities, and country increasingly resemble trash dumps.
Posted by: bncthor at February 25, 2005 01:01 PM
pedro does, indeed, offer you his protection.
Posted by: sampo at February 25, 2005 01:02 PM
Most libertarians hate freedom---they believe in a form of landed aristocracy. See Dan Sullivan's brilliant essay, "Are you a Real Libertarian, or a ROYAL Libertarian?" (URL: http://geolib.pair.com/essays/sullivan.dan/royallib.html)
Posted by: liberal at February 25, 2005 01:49 PM
I assume that the recent post about the wonderful prospects of the whale oil industry, to which you linked, was too new and therefore not yet eligible.
Posted by: putnam at February 25, 2005 02:09 PM
And not to denigrate Brad's amusing and well-written "and a pony"-inspired piece, which can be found at http://www.j-bradford-delong.net/movable_type/2004_archives/000423.html. (Esp. the Scottish highlands account and "Adam Smith: I have written a book, which very few of you have read . . . .")
Posted by: nrp at February 25, 2005 02:22 PM
Somebody should put up a plinth somewhere and chisel that on it.
I was also poised to say "that post is so great we are all better people for reading it", however, upon opening the comments I find the excreable Joe Blow putting paid to that thought.
However, I may rally - Joe Blow has given much indication that he hasn't read really anything in any depth, so I submit that a fair claim would be that he likely didn't actually read much past the title, so we can throw him out as a suspicioulsy outlying data point.
Posted by: a different chris at February 25, 2005 03:09 PM
This one's for joeblow
I want wingnuts smart enough to tell the difference between their own simple-minded strawmen and someone elses wish-fulfillment fantasy and ridicule appropriately, and I want a pony.
Posted by: mikez at February 25, 2005 03:41 PM
I want politicians who tell the truth, no matter how unpopular it is, and a pony.
Posted by: Unstable Isotope at February 25, 2005 05:27 PM
"Joeblow" completely misses the point. Belle Waring was talking about utopian dreamers who are proposing policies that have never been enacted in human history and that are implausible in the light of both historical antedescents and the known facts of human nature. On the other hand, "Joeblow"'s examples pretend that it is impossible to do perfectly ordinary things that have been done in the past. Social Security? Of course we can pay it if we choose to. We've been fairly up-front about the fact that it will require some increases in income taxes on the rich, to make up for the free ride on payroll taxes that they've gotten since 1983. National health care? Every other civilized nation manages to do it. The U.S. health care 'system' is a national disgrace and the laughingstock of the rest of the civilized world. Higher cap gains and corporate taxes? We *had* far higher taxes during the post-WWII era, and did just fine. These are all pragmatic and proven policy solutions, not wishful thinking.
Posted by: Firebug at February 25, 2005 08:10 PM
Belle Waring's is a nice bit of writing, even better than a pony, and points to a few hopeful tendencies in these evil times. The weblog allows a new art of shortform which can be entertaining and informative, while dealing with theoretical and abstract issues too, and getting instant feedback to improve the argument. I hope that many more writers will examine the intersection of theory and reality in this way. Here she is right on the money in tackling the ridiculous idea that self-interest through the market alone can manage our planet, or will even do much extra, in the end, to promote freedom. This idea has mutated from Adam Smith's simple observation of mechanism, to a theoretical axiom for an ordinal calculus of utility, through Hayek's unproven thesis of a slip-slide into socialism, and now to the central battle-cry of the New Conservative Social Engineering--indeed a plan every bit as unreal and vampirish as the Marxian plan to shape the New Communist Man. Now its weird tendrils extend to cutting taxes on the rich so they can realize a utopia of innovation and creativity for all of us, --and just around the corner, too!--; as well as to President Bush's unwise implication that all of Social Security's recipients to-date were leeches who didn't understand the value of ownership! Of course, it doesn't speak well for the Enlightenment that so many fevered halfwits, some of them grandly credentialed, have latched onto this set of guiding principles. OTOH, IMHO, IIRC, writers of all times have gladly welcomed each period's own bizarre amalgam of bad psychology, self-torturing manipulation, doctrinaire abstraction, and historical amnesia--for that endless bounty of dramatic and hilarious material necessary to entertainment and art. You couldn't ask for a better SNAFU! ...So now is the time for all good folks to come to the aid of their party! The Democrats may not be organized, as Will Rogers once joked, but that means the internet could fit them to a tee. It is time for everyone everywhere to put aside timidity in the face of the supposed experts, and do the only wise, just, and reasonable thing, which is to drive a wooden stake through their goddamned undead hearts. Now that the good Dr. Thompson is cannon-powder, we are charged to soldier on, and the mission is clear.
Posted by: Lee A. Arnold at February 25, 2005 10:07 PM
aww, thanks guys; you're making me blush over here.
Posted by: belle waring at February 26, 2005 12:43 AM
Not to denigrate the poor man playing poker with Dick Cheney. http://www.thepoorman.net/archives/002789.html
Posted by: robert Waldmann at February 26, 2005 11:56 AM
Prof:
A propos of contemporary libertarians, why not give a prize to the first of your students who can remember who said, in referrng to the extreme left parties of post WWI Europe as "... tiny ferocious creatures devouring one another in a drop of water."
Posted by: John M at February 26, 2005 11:47 PM