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April 07, 2005

Exorcist to Senator Mel Martinez's Office Immediately!!

Wonkette is on the case:

Wonkette - Schiavo Memo Case Takes Sinister Twist: [M]eet Brian Darling, former chief legal counsel for Senator Mel Martinez (R - FL), currently seeking exciting new employment opportunities. But while Darling has admitted authorship of the controversial memo, questions... persist.... Darling isn't sure how the memo escaped his computer. ('He didn't think he ever printed the memo.')... Martinez... [who] gave the memo to Senator Tom Harkin (D - Iowa)... doesn't know how his hands got ahold of it.... ('Unbeknownst to me, instead of my one page on the bill, I had given him a copy of the now infamous memo that at some point along the way came into my possession.') Darling doesn't know how Martinez' hands got the memo either. ('He doesn't really know how I got it.')... [It would nice to pin the blame on truly evil forces like the Democrats or the MSM, but c'mon! Dumbass memos that magically morph from word-processing files to hard copies? Zombie brain-slaves spreading the document in a trance-like fog? Obviously, this is the work of Satan!

Wonkette - Diabolical Ghost-writer Haunts Mel Martinez: [This] is not the first document to emerge from the coven of Mel Martinez via apparent supernatural forces. In August 2004, after his campaign funded a flier that called his GOP opponent 'the new darling of the homosexual extremists,' Martinez offered a scary glimpse at his life as Satan's plaything: 'Words were used that were not mine, and were not of my choosing. Those words were spoken by others.' A couple months later, when a campaign statement of his likened federal agents to 'armed thugs,' Martinez said he wasn't responsible for that statement either —it was the diabolical handiwork of 'someone writing for the campaign.' Would someone please rescue this man before his head starts spinning like a top?

Posted by DeLong at April 7, 2005 04:33 PM