June 12, 2002
A Plea For Mercy to Microsoft Word, v.X

Procrastinating Since 1979

Dan Hon's relationship with Microsoft Word, v. X, has taken a turn for the worse:

Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 10:48:45 +0100
Subject: A short rant on the topic of MS Word
From: Dan Hon <dan@danhon.com>
To: Culture <culture@busstop.org>
X-Mnemonic: [CULTURE:78453]
X-Original-Message-ID: <B92CD78D.35EA-1077936497an@danhon.com>
Reply-To: culture@busstop.org

Seeing as MS Word ATLs and mini-rants appear to be in vogue...

A Short Rant Concerning Word v.X, or, A series of Heartfelt Pleas
  1. Please, Word v.X, do not consume up to 1gb of virtual memory--it is unbecoming of you as a jumped up word processor
  2. Please, Word v.X, do not protest that you cannot save the notes for my exam, for it shall not only vex me but cause much stress
  3. Please, Word v.X, an "Automatic Save" feature is only useful if it
    • saves; and
    • saves automatically (I feel an element of predictability would not go amiss, at least when I click print, I don't get a wet fish thrown at me. Though I wouldn't put it past you, Word v.X)
  4. Please, Word v.X, when I mount a network share, actually
    • notice that it exists; and
    • let me do something useful with it, such as saving or opening files (I realise that many things in Mac OS X are there just to look pretty, but I did not think that network shares were among those things)
  5. Please, Word v.X, proper use of your facilities should not require copying all of the text into the clipboard, shutting you down, waiting for five minutes until you rid my display of the Spinning Beachball of Death, re-opening you and then pasting text back in.

Thank you for listening, Word v.X.

I feel that today the customary prolonged screams, shouts of agony and frustration, banged tables, naming of eventually-saved files as "This Had Better Bloody Well Work So Help Me God" and quiet whimpers of pleading took far long to have their required effect.


>> for five minutes until you rid my display of the Spinning Beachball of Death,
> Excellent. Beats the hell out of a blue screen.

I hear in the forthcoming OS X 10.2 (Ten Ten Point Two?) it's been replaced by an Aquafied Throbbing Beachball of Not Quite So Much Death. Those wacky people in Cupertino...

Posted by DeLong at June 12, 2002 11:41 AM

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Try OpenOffice. The MacOS X Developer's build is available.

Posted by: Emily on June 23, 2002 10:09 AM
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